So, created an account on OkCupid and spent some time writing my profile and choosing photos I thought represented my personality. Late one night, with a bit of trepidation, I finally hit publish.

The messages started coming right away. “Cute dog.” “I like the hiking and the Indigo Girls too! Wanna meet for coffee?” “I adore butchy girls!” At first it was exciting. Wow, look at her. She’s cute! Ha, ha, she made me laugh, I’ll send her a message. You’re a stone femme top, more power to ya, but no thanks.

I wrote to a few girls. A few wrote to me. Some I recognized from around town. I had a few happy hour dates. I wasn’t finding a lot of love connections, but I did meet some great women. I was having so much fun, I convinced a friend of mine to get online. She too, started to get messages right away.

In December, MountainAir sent me a message. She was cute, earnest and funny. And she was obviously new to it all because she sent me her name and her phone number right away. I was touched by her naivety. So I responded back. After a few messages back and forth, we made a date.

Then I saw a profile of someone I’d seen around town. She was tall and thin and into yoga and well, I don’t know if we had anything in common, but she was kind of sexy. Butterflywings. I sent her a message. We made a date.

I had my first date with MountainAir. Although new to the site, she’d been on a few dates and was seeing someone named CatchMe. That’s the point right, to get out and meet people. I told her about my upcoming date with Butterflywings. She smiled. “That’s the other girl CatchMe is dating.”

I called my friend to tell her about my successful date with MountainAir. “How’s it going for you?” I asked. “Great,” she said. “Some girl named CatchMe just asked me out and I have another date with this tall girl named Butterflywings.” I about spit my coffee out. So much for expanding my circle. Maybe there really are only four single lesbians in Portland.

*Names have been changed, but true story.

Staff videographer and social butterfly Aurea Astro is something of a staple at Inferno dances. Her cheery disposition and enthusiasm for everything Inferno combine to form a potent cocktail that will get just about anyone in the spirit of things – perhaps we need a drink special called the Astro! You will be hard pressed to catch her without camera in hand as she is always looking to record you and your peeps sharing good times. We are pleased to have a Q & A featuring Aurea in Scene On The Scene, as she will be out and about at many of our upcoming dances. Many of you know she is regularly on the prowl at our Seattle location and now she is headed out for more. We couldn’t be more excited to have her at our 8 year Anniversary Party in Portland January 28^th with a visit to San Diego on February 4^th to top it all off! Be ready because she will be looking for you!

1)   You are quite passionate about the Inferno-Hot Flash dances – what exactly is it that has you dedicated to these events?

I feel confident, loved, and special when I’m at Hot Flash.  I didn’t have positive feedback growing up, my self-image as a young adult was abysmal.  Hot Flash was my first sustained taste of positive feedback – and it’s constant and reliable. Hot Flash is my bimonthly taste of the state of being secure, self-assured, and in love with life. I feel like I reach self-actualization every time I attend.  It’s the only space and time where I feel like I can truly be me.

2)   How long have you been interested in photography/being a videographer?

For the last 2 years.  I asked my graduate school professor whether I could do something alternative to writing a paper for a final project and he suggested making a video.  I picked up an old video camera and took to the streets to ask people what they thought about economic development in Rainier Valley (a particular part of Seattle).  I had so much fun meandering around and talking to strangers, and then with the subsequent editing process, that I was hooked.  I went from a dreary state of feeling like a wannabe banker who would never be, to a hopeful product of discovering one’s passion.

3)   What do you most want to capture when you are behind the lens?

The face of happiness and confidence among people who didn’t grow up with it.

4)   I read somewhere that you love documentaries, why?

I love eccentric people and the ugly side of reality, and want the wallflowers of the world to be aware of what exists beyond the four corners of their lawn.  Video – documentaries, specifically – can bring all that exists /out there/ in here.  I think they’re a great tool for opening the minds and mindsets of those who write the rules I have to live by.  I don’t like many of those rules, and I think it’s because the drivers aren’t aware of what’s going on at a basic level of humanity. Documentaries often magnify these quarks in people and expose them for all their similarities to the greater community.  I like digging into the dark closets of the human psyche and showing the “happy normal people” how they’re no different than the homeless crack addict or sexaholic; privilege and chance set them on a different path.

5)   Do you have any upcoming projects we should be on the lookout for and is there a website where people can view your work? 

The Hot Flash Documentary!!!

6)   If you were a cartoon character who would you be?

The head of Goofy on the body of Eore.

 7)   Is Aurea Astro your real name?

Yes; tis my birth name.  Aurea Amanda Sari Marie Astro, to be specific.  My parents were hippies.  My twitter handle is @ItsReallyMyName because everyone asks me that same question.  Aurea is gold in Latin or something, and Astro was shortened by my grandpa legally from Astromovich.

8)   Do you have a bucket list? If so, what is on it?

I’m going to infer what “bucket list” means but… in 2012 its to submit a feature-length documentary (hence the Hot Flash documentary is full steam ahead), and a short film (there’s a few in the works at the moment).  In addition, before I die I want to:

Influence local public policy by way of film

Be mutually in love

Be confident in front of arrogant straight white rich men

Avoid any prolonged time in a cubicle

Learn to fry eggs

Go surfing in Bali

9)   Do you have other hobbies or interests that you are passionate about?

Like a good lesbian, I really love my dog and animals in general.  Beyond videography, video editing, and documentaries, I really love surfing and skimboarding.

10) Do you have a favorite memory or story from an Inferno-Hot Flash Dance that you would like to share?

The 7^th anniversary of Hot Flash was epic.  Joyce proposed to Pauline and I remember standing on the stage with my video camera and scanning a crowd of over 400 women whooping and hollering when Pauline said “yes.”  The sense of communal affection among strangers so overwhelming I had to stop filming and wipe my eyes.

There was the woman I met on the Olivia cruise. After three days of flirting and tension building, our first kiss, on the upper deck of the ship on a tropical breezy night should have been exquisite. Instead, as I leaned in to kiss her, she thrust her tongue straight into my mouth. It almost pushed me overboard. Maybe she just didn’t have her sea legs yet, because we eventually figured it out and shared some sweet kisses under a Caribbean full moon.

Then there was the girl I met at a comedy show. We had a nice connection on our first date over dark beer and nachos.  I didn’t want the evening to end and asked her if she’d like to go on to Crush. As we stood by her car, negotiating who was going to drive, she looked me in the eye and said, “I think you need to kiss me right now.”  How could I not?

The triathlete from Seattle came down on the train and we met at a concert. After the show, I offered to drive her to her hotel. After I illegally parked downtown, she turned and said “Here comes that awkward moment when we hug goodbye.” “Oh no,” I piped in. “I want a kiss.” It was not awkward at all.

Then there was the organic gardener. After three hours of talking in a Hawthorne bar, we stepped out into the misty dark. While deciding what to do next, “I want to kiss you,” slipped out of my mouth. “Right here on the street?” she asked. I didn’t answer with words.  She let out a tiny moan and bit into my lower lip as she pressed me into my car, her inhibitions gone.

One of the first girls I dated after my breakup was a cute bicycling lawyer. We hung out for a few weeks in the “Are we dating or just biking buddies?” mode. Finally after acknowledging our attraction, we had our first kiss on the back deck of the house I had just purchased. The rest of the summer, we’d sneak into the backyards of houses for sale and let our dogs run loose while we kissed on strangers’ back porches.

A sweet summer surprise was the smoky redhead with a raspy voice I stood next to at an Indigo Girls concert at the zoo. She shared her boxed wine and we bonded as we bopped and sang along to our favorite songs. Just as the Girls started singing “Hammer and a Nail,” I looked at her, she looked at me, and we just started making out, right there in middle of the crowd at the zoo. I never saw her again, but the memory brings a smile to my face.

It’s a new year full of new possibilities and potential first kisses. Get out there and create some memories of 2012.

Pole leaner

I was having coffee with a femme friend of mine the other day and she was trying to convince me that we single butches had it easy. If we want to meet someone, all we have to do—and she got up to demonstrate—is lean back against a wall, place one foot up behind you up the wall and cross your arms. “Just wait,” she said, “the femmes will flock to you.”

“Yeah, right!” I said. If only it were that easy. Just to prove her wrong, I decided to give her theory a try at the November Inferno/Hot Flash dance in Portland. About an hour into the dance, I found a spot near the back of the room, leaned back, crossed my arms and waited.

It took about two seconds for a cute red-haired femme to come up to me and start chatting. She said she’d seen my profile on a lesbian dating site and liked the picture of my dog. We talked for a little while about online dating and I said I’d be in touch, before I excused myself to go find my friends.

That didn’t really happen did it? It must have been a fluke, I thought. It can’t be that easy to meet women!

I danced for a bit with my friends, then thought I’d try my technique again, this time closer to the dance floor. I got a Corona and leaned up against the wall off to the side. Again, it was only a few seconds before another cute femme approached. “My friend dared me to come and talk to you,” she said. Well, how high school, I thought, but whatever, my friend was right, this strategy really works!

We chatted for a few minutes, but I chickened out and didn’t ask for her number. She seemed a little young anyway. Then a friend asked me to dance, so I was back on the floor for a bit. But I had to test this leaning theory again. So I headed to the back of the room and assumed the position on a pole right outside the bathrooms.

It was only a few moments before I felt a hand on the small of my back. It was the sexy blonde I dated a few summers ago. We hugged, chatted, caught up a bit and made plans to meet for a drink in a few weeks.

Back to leaning. Another woman came up. This time a butch. She said she was a fan of my column in Curve magazine. Another woman asked me if I was famous. “Not really, I’m just a writer,” I replied. Then a woman who I met on a cruise came up to say hello.

Finally, I was approached by another hot femme. This time I did I didn’t chicken out. I asked her for a date. She said yes.

Pole leaning really works. Take note butches. But I claim the one nearest the bathrooms.

SCENE ON THE SCENE: A FOLLOW-UP WITH MIMI GONZALEZ by Tracy Hyslop

Last May, Inferno-Hot Flash Dances brought THE LEZBERADOS to Portland and I had the opportunity to spend some time with Mimi Gonzalez and Sandra Valls at a variety of events over Memorial Day weekend. I can tell you that they are genuine, down to earth, and just as funny off stage as on. These turbo charged lesbian Latinas are not-so-subtle societal critics who stretch familiar cultural norms all while making us laugh. In follow-up to the whirlwind weekend I recently scored a quick Q&A with Mimi:

Mimi’s response to my request for an interview: “I LOVED my time in Portland and really appreciate what Pauline has created for the community through the Inferno dances.  Your request just brings the feeling of being there back to me and I appreciate there.”

1) How did you know/decide you wanted to make people laugh for a living?

Watching my holy trinity of Lucy, Carol and Lily blessed me with laughter and if they could reach into my head and make me laugh, I knew it was a special calling.

2) Who are your favorite comedians? Who would you actually pay to see?

Elvira Kurt is one of the top comics on my list.  She’s brilliant and so committed to seeing an idea through the many avenues it can take.  Paula Poundstone is so smart too.  Jessica Kirson is a comic’s comic and makes me hurt every time I see her.  Poppy Champlain takes me down the comedy river and up bubble so many laughs.  Really?  There are so many great comics (hmmmm, most of them lesbo!) who I love to laugh and learn from…Kate Clinton, Marga Gomez, Karen Williams.  They’re still creating and leading the way.

3) Your show with Sandra Valls, The Lezberados, is quite a success and you two seem to have a great working chemistry. What other comedians would you like to work with?

Sandra Valls and I had instant chemistry from the moment we met between the shows we were doing in Provincetown.  She’s really funny, has mad style and had a cultural frame of reference that informs my own. Jennie McNulty and I have a lot of fun and rapport on stage too.  We created two drag-king characters and host an amateur competition in Provincetown every Women’s Week.  She’s an improv master and she’s really fun to play with. If there was anyone I could hang out with and work with on stage it would have to be Lois Bromfield who doesn’t do stand-up any more unfortunately.  She moved from it into writing for sitcoms and producing. We were girlfriends for a little while and she is the funniest person I have ever met.  Like Elvira, she’s Canadian.  Maybe I should think about crossing that border.

4) What do you consider the fundamentals of great comedy?

Calling out humanity and mocking our seriousness.  Which of course is easy with lesbians because we are so serious and take ourselves so seriously, sometimes you have to tell them, “it’s okay to laugh.” I’ve had lesbian audiences who are so respectful and listening so attentively to what I’m saying, I have to remind them that I need to hear their interest because nodding their heads or smiling is to quiet for me to go on.

5) Do you have a “bucket list”? If so, what is on it?

Of course I do!  What else is there to live for? I want to ride down a roiling river in padding and a helmet instead of a raft.  [Why do I, as someone of Cuban heritage, have to mention a raft?  Pardon me - A.D.D. moment.]  I’d like to ride a bicycle across Cuba for a year.  I want to see the Hermitage in St. Petersburg, Russia.  Being in a healthy, loving relationship with someone is up there too along with driving around and around the country in a camper with a motorcycle on back and her on the back of that.  I’d love to feel the high of being in the zone with the audience and taking each other to the place where we both have to catch our breaths for many more years to come.  Then again, if I could climb a tree and sleep in the canopy of the Amazon above its mighty river with a monkey making faces with me, I’d feel fulfilled.

6) If you were a cartoon character who would you be?

Guard Alice from SuperJail.  Ha!  The mother from Shin Chan or the octopus-armed boiler maker from “Spirited Away” or Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.  I watch too much Adult Swim.

7) After reviewing your schedule on www.mimigonzalez.com I noted most of your upcoming shows are back East. When is your next gig with Olivia Travel, when can we expect to see you on the West Coast, and what do you have in the works for the near future?

WooHoo! My next Olivia trip is May 5-12 in Cancun!  And I’ve been asked to be a part of Olivia’s 40th Anniversary celebration cruises in January 2013. My next West Coast gigs will be for Shann Carr’s Female Comedy Series in Palm Springs and Phoenix, February 16, 17.  There’s a possibility of returning to Portland for Latin Pride I’m pursuing and I’ve been a regular for the past five years in Provincetown, which I’ll repeat next year starting the first weekend of June for Women of Color and Allies weekend. The rest of 2011, I’ll be on the road working a bunch of one-nighters and as soon as 2012 is booked, I’ll put it on my website: www.MimiGonzalez.com . So come on over and see me sometime, ’cause remember, I put the Lez in GonzaLEZ, and I’ll be glad to get some on you.

If you have seen her comedy you know Dana Goldberg is laugh out loud funny. Named one of “America’s Funniest Lesbians” by Curve Magazine I nearly fell over when given the opportunity to have a quick Q & A with her for Hot Flash – Inferno Dances. Dana’s comedy will get a laugh out of you covering everything in the spectrum from relationships to politics. Whether entertaining you on your next vacation with Olivia Travel, or using humor to raise money for the Human Rights Campaign you can be certain she will put on a fantastic show and is not to be missed if you have the opportunity.

Check out her bio, videos, schedule, and more here: http://www.danagoldberg.com/

1) How did you know/decide you wanted to make people laugh for a living?

My kindergarten teacher told my mom I was the funniest five year old she had ever met. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I think I had the gift of humor at a very early age. I had my first comedy gig at my high school talent show when I was a senior. I’m not sure what possesses a 17 year old to decide to do a 10-minute comedy set in front of their peers and teachers, but I won. After that I didn’t touch a stage for 8 years. I auditioned for a show in Albuquerque, NM that was in its 9th year. It was an annual event called “Funny Lesbians For a Change.” It raised money for higher education scholarships for lesbians in the community. I was given a 7-minute set in front of 650 people in a sold out theater. I remember the moment clearly, I could see my heart beat through my shirt and I didn’t dare touch the microphone for fear I would turn it into an amplifying vibrator of sorts. I hit my first big joke and heard the most deafening laughter I had ever heard. For the next 7 minutes I absolutely killed one joke after another. I felt like I could fly for weeks. Some people do drugs to get that feeling – I do comedy. Sooo much cheaper and I get to keep my smile intact.

2) Who are your favorite comedians? Who would you go to see?

I’m not sure there’s enough room to answer this question. I work with SO many incredible woman and some very talented men. I would go see Jessica Kirson (a good friend of mine) any chance I could. She is absolutely brilliant on and off the stage. It’s hard because I don’t go watch a ton of comedians. It’s easier to keep your jokes authentic and fresh if there is no question in your head about where your ideas come from.

3) Having shared the national stage with President Barack Obama, Jane Lynch and the cast of GLEE, Lady Gaga, Kathy Griffin, and many others, who would you like to share the stage with next?

I would absolutely love to open for Wanda Sykes. When comedians listen to other comedians we aren’t the best audience. We are too busy studying and observing. Usually you don’t hear laughter from us, you’ll hear things like, “Oh that was good.” “Nice set up!” Wanda is one of those comedians I stop studying and just enjoy. She’s brilliant at what she does, and I feel like she has become even more powerful on stage since she’s come out. There is something very empowering about honoring yourself in every aspect of your life.

4) What do you consider the fundamentals of great comedy?

You have to be able to connect with your audience. Someone once said to me, “Dana, people aren’t going to see YOU. They are going to see themselves in YOUR comedy.” I would like to think SOME people are just going to me see *grin*, but that’s really what it’s about. I’m not funny if people can’t relate to me so it’s my job to find a connection between us, something that resonates through them. Timing is so important as well. I may not have the best in real life, but I know my timing on stage is fantastic. An intentional pause for effect can make all the difference in the world.

5) Do you have a bucket list? If so what is on it?

I haven’t actually MADE one, but there are definitely things that will on my bucket list. I think the first one should be to live until I’m 100. I’ll check that one off last. Actually after that one is complete someone else will have to check it off for me. I want to swim with the dolphins in the Great Barrier Reef, Hike the Grande Canyon. I want to travel for a few months through Europe, cycling through the countryside. I also want to complete my first triathlon. Wow…my bucket list sounds really sporty.

6) If you were a cartoon character which one would you be?

This may sound crazy, and I actually had to sleep on it, but I think I would want to be Stewie from Family Guy for just a day. Everyone always talks about how sweet I am…blah blah blah *smile* but it would be nice one day to just be able to say everything I thought out loud…even if no one could hear me.

7) Following the Stand Up For Equality Tour and your next gig with Olivia Travel what do you have in the works for the near future?

I produce an annual show in Albuquerque, New Mexico called the Southwest FunnyFest. It’s an amazing night in the same theatre where I had my first gig, and the show has help to benefit New Mexico AIDS Services for the last 6 years. A lot of my time will be spent on booking the talent for that and getting all of the details in line. I’ll be booking out the first half of 2012 in the coming months, and will be adding news cities to my calendar.

Dana will be appearing in Seattle on November 12-13.  If you would like us to bring Dana Goldberg to your city, please send an email to Pauline @hotflashdances.com and tell us.  Make sure to indicate your city.  If we get a large response, we will work on it!