Happy Day Pauline!
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for “Hot Flash” dances.
On 10-10-09, my best friend was persistent in wanting me to meet her at a function I had never heard of… a Hot Flash dance. Even though I immediately thought the concept was clever, I wasn’t really interested in mingling that night. But, since I wasn’t going to disappoint my friend, I went anyway. I thought I’d show up to meet my commitment, buy my friend a beer and politely make my exit.
Something amazing happened that night! It was like a moment out of a black and white movie…across a crowded dance floor…I saw her! Since then, my life has been filled with more amazing moments of adventure and love than any time before her!
Like the year before, we will be celebrating the day we met on 10-10 and how magical it all was.
I am so grateful to my friend for pushing me to go that night and grateful to all the elements that were in alignment.
My partner and I will have our commitment ceremony this year on 11-11-11 in Kauai. We are so excited for it all!
That’s what brought me to thanking you directly. By causally showing up for a dance…I found the companion I had always dreamed of having.
I hope you receive tons of emails on a regular basis just like this one with great news because of what you do. If you don’t, please accept my email as testimony that you made a huge and positive difference in at least 2 people’s lives.
The dance continues….
Look what they’re saying about us in the San Diego Gay and Lesbian News!
Inferno will rock and spin “pink” on its 2nd anniversary dance
this Saturday at The Flame
Morgan M. Hurley – SDGLN Copy Editor
December 2nd, 2010
SAN DIEGO — The women behind Hot Flash Dance Parties L.L.C. are tickled pink to bring you the 2nd anniversary of their Inferno Tea Dance, this Saturday at The Flame in Hillcrest.
The two year anniversary of the company’s San Diego event, dubbed thePink Party, will be quite the celebration and include prizes, contests, a live band, retro dance tunes and more. The activities start at 5:30 p.m. and run until 9:30 p.m. The ladies say you’ll want to get there early to take it all in and get some added surprises.
History of Hot Flash Dance Parties
Started by Pauline Miriam, after the unexpected break-up of her 10 year relationship made her realize options for meeting other women her age were limited, “Hot Flash” tea dances kicked off in Portland, Or. seven years ago. Now there are monthly Hot Flash sponsored events in six other cities on the West Coast (Olympia, Wa; Eugene, Or; Las Vegas, Nv; Phoenix, Az, San Diego and now San Francisco).
As a political organizer in the ’70s, Miriam pulled people together for a variety of causes, including anti-war, women’s liberation, and gay and lesbian rights. When she found herself single seven years ago, she mixed those natural talents with her passion for play and decided to create a gathering for like-minded women.
A “tea dance” is an early or late afternoon event that originally evolved out of the concept of “afternoon tea,” and dates all the way back to the French Revolution. Tea dances are very popular on the east coast, especially in high society and the gay community, as a way to bring people together.
Miriam spent the first 40 years of her life in Philadelphia but had moved to Oregon for a while (she now lives in Washington). She decided to bring the Tea Dance idea to the Pacific Northwest, throw in a retro theme and take aim at older lesbians, like herself. It was a hit.
Her first event was so successful she organized another one, and then another. That initial concept – born out of personal necessity – has grown at a very steady pace over the years and now Hot Flash Dance Parties L.L.C. has quite a staff to support and serve the women who attend in all those various locations.
“Usually tea dances begin at 4 p.m. and go until 8 or 9 p.m.,” Pauline told San Diego Gay & Lesbian News. “We begin early deliberately for two reasons: (1) Older women enjoy going out earlier than 10 p.m., and (2) Clubs we use have their own clientele that support them, especially on Saturday nights. There are usually other parties that begin at 10 p.m. hosted by the bars.”
What’s in a Name?
“Every party stands out as a way of bringing together women who might otherwise find themselves, as I did, isolated,” said Miriam. ”Hot Flash is a constant monthly event where women can come to socialize together, but more than that, we build an entire social, as well as a business, community.
“Roofers meet realtors and make alliances at Hot Flash,” she continued. “Lesbian doctors meet new patients; financial consultants meet clients. So we wind up building an economic network for women supporting women.”
The name “Hot Flash,” of course, is a tongue-in-cheek way to identify the focused clientele for the event. While most older women appreciate the name with a giggle of recognition, others weren’t so quick to embrace it.
The website states right up front, “Are you too old for the 20-something club scene, but way too young to stop dancing?” For some, the term “Hot Flash” seemed to leave a gaping hole that a whole group of lesbians could fall into.
In fact, many in their late thirties and early forties who thought they met the demographic, were not quite ready to be connected with something that hinted at peri-, pre-, or full-on menopause, and scoffed at the name. As a result of this feedback, some cities have renamed the monthly tea dance to “Inferno.”
Such is the case with San Diego, explained Kelcie Kopf, who manages the local monthly event at The Flame.
“It is still tailored for older lesbians and the average age remains late 40′s and early 50′s, but we did change the name to open it up and make the patrons happy,” Kopf said. “It is a fun event, [everyone] can come to listen to good music, and we have a good mix of all ages.”
Inferno still implies heat, but the kind that brings to mind a lot of excitement and attention, rather than oscillating fans or handkerchiefs.
Kopf, in her 30′s herself, moved from Texas to San Diego just three years ago and immediately started a lesbian meet-up group that grew to over 500 members before she left. She’s also spent time organizing and volunteering with several other LGBT groups around town, but now focuses her time on Inferno, when she is not working her regular, full-time job.
What to expect in 2011
Last month’s Inferno dance included a fundraiser for The Trevor Project and this month will include volunteers from the Amazon Breast Project, a breast cancer awareness group. Both of these events were tied-in at the last minute and the fact that the December theme is Pink was purely serendipitous.
Kopf says 2011 will see an expansion of these co-sponsored events, with a more organized and deliberate outreach to local non-profits and community groups to bring them in and share in the atmosphere.
“We really want to get the community more involved,” she said. So be looking to have even more of a reason (besides socializing and dancing) to come out to these events in 2011.
Hot Flash / Inferno dances are generally on the first Saturday of every month here in San Diego, but this poses a problem for January; the first Saturday is New Year’s Day. As a result, a decision has not yet been made on the actual date for January, but will be soon. The rest of the year will continue as usual, on the first Saturday of each month.
“The Flame has been good to us, so we will stay loyal to them,” replied Kopf, when asked about any potential changes in venue for the upcoming year.
As for the rest of the company, there are plans for expansion in 2011 there, too. The San Francisco event just debuted in November with 200 women in attendance and they hope to continue to capitalize on that exciting launch. They also have plans to open events in Atlanta, Ga and Austin, Tx., so stay tuned.
More about the 2nd Anniversary this Saturday
The traditional one year anniversary is paper, the two year is pink! Hence, the theme for the Pink Party this Saturday, Dec. 4th, from 5:30 to 9:30 p.m. As always, there will be a $10. cover and happy hour prices. To help celebrate the anniversary, if you arrive before 6:30 p.m., your cover will only be $8.00!
The person rocking the best pink outfit gets a free shot of their choice.
There will also be a special live performance by Garrison Bailey and the “Groove Kitties.” The popular local band will split time with Inferno’s own DJ Muse, who will once again spin the rest of the retro night away. Find out more about the Groove Kitties on their website and don’t forget to bring your pink panties to throw at them on stage during their short set.
The ladies from the Amazon Breast Project ladies will be on hand with information, giveaways, and will also be offering incentive packages to women who sign up for breast exams.
Kopf says she can be found at this weekend’s event hanging out not far from the entrance and she will be wearing a pink tie. Feel free to hunt her down, introduce yourself, give her some positive (or negative) feedback and tell her how much you are enjoying this monthly event.
Note: Even though the Hot Flash event ends at 9:30 p.m., after a short clean-up the proprietors of the Flame generally will let you back in to continue your evening if you wish to do so. That being said, there is no guarantee they won’t have another party going on that poses a conflict.
For more information about Hot Flash Dance Parties and their other locations, check out their website, or follow their local Facebook page Inferno in San Diego.
Morgan M. Hurley is the Copy Editor for SDGLN. She can be reached at (877) 727-5446, ext 710, or via email at morgan@sdgln.com.
And here’s what on www.ProjectAtlanta.com:
Female Hot Flash Dances: Pun and fun intended
By Jo Giraudo, Nov 26, 2010, 1:28 PM
Not living on the West Coast, it has taken me a while to become familiar with the wildly popular Hot Flash Dances for women. I was drawn to the name, wondering about any intended double meaning.
Olivia Travel just sponsored one in San Francisco with a Bollywood theme. Intrigued and curious, I looked into this six-year-old party circuit for women.
Hot Flash Dances (photos) are parties designed to cater to seasoned women who are too old for the 20s scene and too young to stop dancing. They feature an eclectic mix of dance tunes from the ‘60s to today. The Hot Flash is held earlier in the evening so you can either continue club hopping or make it bed by a decent hour.
Out west, the events draw hundreds of women out for a relaxed, fun, dance-filled evening. Music ranges from 1960s Motown and ‘70s disco to ‘80s new wave. It appeals to women from their 30s to late 60s. Hot Flash Dances were Voted “Best Women’s Dance Regardless of Sexual Orientation” in Best of Seattle 2008 Magazine.
Pauline Miriam started Hot Flash in Portland, Oregon, in 2004. She found herself single after age 50 and refused to settle for community potlucks and the young bar scene to meet women.
As they age or enter a relationship, lesbians tend to stop supporting bars and clubs in favor of socializing at home. There are fewer dances and events that cater to them, and Hot Flash Dances fill the void. Couples and singles are welcome, and newbies are introduced to regulars more like a party and less like a club.
“What we find is that the women who come, being a little older, are much friendlier,” says Miriam, who met her partner at one of the dances. “Women find connections that are romantic, political, social and professional.”
Miriam keeps adding more cities to the circuit that includes Eugene, Oregon, Phoenix, Seattle, San Francisco, Olympia, Wash., and San Diego. Great news: Atlanta has one in the works.
Here is my suggestion for your winter getaway. Pick one of the cities hosting a Saturday Hot Flash on the Hot Flash Calendar Map, and make a weekend out of it. All of the cities are beautiful travel destinations with lots to see and do.
For a longer trip, take Amtrak and enjoy the scenery between the cities. The dances happen every weekend.
The most popular is in Seattle, held every other week. The party draws from 300-500 women. Hot Flash Seattle also sponsors a softball team. Air from Atlanta to Seattle is running $340 (subject to change).
Held at Neighbors Nightclub, Hot Flash Seattle is near Cal Anderson Park and close to many LGBT-friendly hotels. See TAG Approved for reliable suggestions.
Jo Giraudo, owner of Insider Traveler, is a Certified Cruise Consultant working in metro Atlanta.
